Welcome! Cynical is a medium-core 10 man heroic raiding guild on the (US) Muradin server. Established 09/01/08, Cynical started slow as a 10 man raiding guild on Area 52, but exploded onto the scene in BC on the Muradin server. Our BC accomplishments include clearing Kara/Gruuls/Mag/ZA/SSC/TK and burning our way to Achimonde in Hyjal as well as Illidan in BT before the release of Wrath of the Lich King. So far in WotLK Cynical has cleared from Naxxramas to Icecrown Citadel in both 10 and 25 man content, including Bane of the Fallen King 10, and is enjoying being on the bleeding edge of content.
Feel free to look around. If you are already a member, please create your account and log in the guild password at the top. However, please make your wowstead name the same as your MAIN RAIDING TOON name.
Please note that while clicking "Recruiting" is a step in the right direction, it's NOT our application. Please look into the Forums, where you can find the Guild Application; simply copy & paste into a new subject and you'll be well on your way to downing some new bosses with us.
If you are interested in learning more about or joining Cynical, please visit our application and general info forum, as well as having a read-through of the Manifest.
Thanks for your interest,
Your Cynical Management
Blizzard gave us another fight that we had to avoid Balls to the Face. They Nerfed Firelands, We took a less progression focused week to get Worlchaos his fist Staff for the epic quests, and came in on Server reset October 4th and Cleared Firelands in one night. Coincidentally the same night a certain Balls the Face Hunter returned to the server. Fret Moves like Jagger. Good job to all that focused on getting each phase correctly, we weren't all in there that night, but all that helped get us there deserve Congratulations.
After a bit of a slow down in Progression, Cynical made a huge push on Wednesday May 11, 2011 become Defenders of a Shattered World by being the 2nd Horde Guild on Muradin to kill Nefarian. We weren't the only ones trying to kill hit that night; But we secured our Muradin Horde Progression 10 man guild position in 2nd by our timing. This makes us able to focus on the Heroic Kills in ALL RAID DUNGEONS in Cataclysm. Congratulations to all those who wiped many hours, months prior and the week of this kill. Including proof that without having all 359 iLevel geared characters and even alts, we can still clear Current Raid content.
Simply put, we win. This Dec 1st kill is the culmination of all of our hard work over the past 2 years. Everyone should be proud of how much dedication, skill, and awareness they have gained through all of this. We jumped 10,000 rankings in the world, and finished WotLK as the top ranked 10 man guild. Not to mention, we killed him without outgearing the encounter. After 180+ wipes, we gave Arthas the "quick death" Tirion wanted, earned our title, and beaten this expansion. That being said, it is a regret that we only got 10 titles for the 14 people who worked as hard as anybody. This has been a big step from BC, and I expect a leap in Cataclysm. Thank you all.
Phase One - Contestants Row - We started what looked like an epic fight by facing several opponents. Up for bids was a stack of [Abyss Crystal]'s. One by one they each bid; Zaelan throwing out 50 gold (lol), Innergi 100 gold (less lolfull). Their other bids failed, at which point I won the day. Let me tell you news browsers something, right here and right now, I own the fucking enchanting mats market, always have, always will. "Bid 300g Bob, lets play some fucking Plinko"
Phase Two - Pricing Game - Much like I would do before appearing on the Price is Right, I read every strategy. We played the magic number game. 7-8 AOE? 2-3 Enhancement shaman? Wut? "Try 5 and 1 Bob, lets move on."
Phase Three - The Wheel - I guess beating them all in contestants row wasn't enough. Here they all were, waiting for another crack at us. Of all the raiders, Zaelan, by far, put up the most fight. Taking him out was important. Zaelan stepped up to the wheel, "My girlfriend will beat me if I dont win this..." and spun it. Gotta say not bad, 95 cents. So we stepped up, One fucking dollar. First roll. "THATS HOW I ROLL BITCH."
Phase Four - Showcase Showdown - So after beating the guild contestants, we faced our biggest challenger. The first showcase featured Mystic Buffets, Iceblocks, Unchained Magic, and Icy Grip. Sindragosa passed to us, we bid pwn. Game.
Phase Five - Have your pets spayed and neutered - That means the shows over folks.
*Disclaimer* This is the real picture from our boss kill. Bob Barker did show up and scream that Happy Gilmore line while confettii flew from the sky thrown by the Lich King.
Wednesday night Cynical took a break from raiding, and had an intervention for our close friend Professor Putricide. You see, if you havn't noticed already, he seems to be falling into senility, always messing with goo-that or slime-this and we began to worry about him with all the time we've been recently spending with him.
"So we held an intervention for him, to let him know we were worried about him and his constant obsession with slime, ooze, and his really ugly children," stated officer Xaras, who secretly covets the idea of taking Precious and Stinky home as his own pets.
At some point during this intervention, it took a turn for the worst.
"Like most of our raids," complained Sengou, "it turned hostile. It might be due to the fact that Klymax may, or may not, have mentioned that his slime and ooze obessions might have something to do with his personal life and those weird "tenticles" coming out of his back."
Klymax denies all reports of the comments. "I, like the rest of Cynical, just wanted to help the guy." He stated. "I don't know anything about what slime and ooze has to do with testicles.....er, um.....tenticles."
Professor Putricide, whatever he heard through his goo incrusted hearing aides, transformed into a monster, and Cynical had no choice but to take him down.
With that, I report with a sadness that Professor Putrcide is dead, may that asshole roam Azeroth looking for a resting place.
P.S. That dude had herpes.
Sunday featured the first annual end of the year Cynical Awards! Cynical put on their best suits, dresses, and other various outfits and walked the red carpet. The categories, their nominees, and the winner bolded:
Member of the Year: Faunt, Saeru, Xaras, Catstring
Rookie of the Year: Aerilyn, Saveurazz, Arras, Doubledouble
Crafter of the Year: Xaras, Xhelnaga, Nokie, Faunt, Catstring
Most Versatile of the Year: Jipped, Minatoba, Saveurazz, Arras
Online and On Time Award: Nokie, Saeru, Maesta, Bek, Formulaone
The Unsung Hero Award: Jipped, Zaelan, Minatoba, Saeru
Most Improved Award: Zaelan, Nokie, Kiltran, Garfazz
Admiral of the Fail Fleet Award: Sammaster, Mackster, Cancer, Saeru
Thuglife Gangsta of the Year: Sammaster, Audigy, Doubledouble
Raid Leader of the Year: Faunt, Xaras, Xhelnaga, Catstring
...has gone offline: Mackster, Spazzit, Doubledouble
Fire Warms the Soul Award: Eureus, Spazzit, Galba, Saveurazz
Captain Coward: Saeru, Gromgromm, Dirkadirk
The glamorous evening started with the entire guild's acknowledgement that Saeru is a massive coward, while Saeru accepted this award by deciding to port himself to Orgrimmar. Continuing with the domination, Faunt won Raid Leader of the Year, and Mackster won the worst connection award...for which, ironically, he was no online to receive. In the Fire Warms the Soul Award, there was a tie between Eureus and Saveurazz, but since Eureus was missing, she was unable to stand in the goo from out Professor Putricide attempts, and Saveurazz took the title by default.
From that point on, the remaining awards were all very close votes. It started with Cynical narrowly honoring "I'm a Puppy Killing Thug" Sammaster as the Thuglife Gangsta of the Year. It was rewarded to Sammaster by default, because rumor has it that before the awards show, Audigy and Doubledouble (the other two finalists) were brutally murdered and puppy dog tails were at the scene of the crime, so truly Sammaster is born of the streets. Later, in the first tie of the evening, Sammaster, Mackster, and Cancer tied as the Admirals of the Fail Fleet. The tie was broken when it was revealed that Sammaster had voted for himself in that category, which automatically brought his level of failure to a level too high to not recognize.
Moving on to the major awards, in an extremely close vote, Jipped edged out two of his fellow nominess by only two votes in The Unsung Hero Award. The other nominees will continue to be ignored, despite their constant contributions. The Online and On Time Award went to Nokie, despited the fact that her timeliness, sadly, did not extend to our awards show. Later, Jipped won Most Versatile Player of the Year, and caused more uproar that Minatoba had potentially been robbed; Kanye had much to say about it. As the crowd got tense, Xaras took home Crafter of the Year, and that helped ease the tensions on the night. In another close vote, Arras won Rookie of the Year to raucous applause and general jubilation of the onlookers, then was awarded the role of Cynical's newest officer!
But the first ever Cynical Awards had one trick yet up their sleeves. In a vote of 10-8-8-6, the 2009 Member of the Year was won by Faunt! Congratulations to all winners, and the race is on for next year's awards!
Even though Saurfang had some mighty abilities at his command, nothing can stand in the way of Cynical's own Nubbed Wonder and tank extrodiane; Arras."Sure, we knew he wouldn't be a pushover" said raider Gromgromm. "But we had no idea that Arras can still tank this well after his accident with that garbage disposal!"Saurfang never stood a chance once Cynical was able to settle down and give Arras a few more seconds to face-roll his paladin into position. It was like watching a train rumble down the tracks towards a helpless maiden strapped to the rails only to see a hero rush out to snatch her from certain death (Arras' healer Bubbliciouss being the hero and Arras himself playing the damsil in distress obviously)."It hasn't been that hard" explained Arras. "My toon and I have both had to cope since the accident, we're one in the same ya know? If I lose a hand, so does he, but you'd be surprised what these nubs can do while ducktaped to my mouse!""I taught him all he knows" Audigy states with tears in his eyes. "He even wanted to name his toon after me at first, but I couldn't let his brave soul give me any credit."All this lowly officer knows, is that, if getting your fingers chopped off while playing in the garbage disposal makes you play this much better...I still wouldn't do it.